metal spike, meet my eye

I have this weird thing about needing everything to be symmetrical. It’s been this way ever since I was a little kid. I’d spin myself silly one way, then I’d have to spin myself the other way to unwind. I’d sniff one foot to check the funk, and I’d have to sniff the other to even things out. And now that I’m an adult, sharing my life with another person, I’m trying to force my balance obsession on him. When he kisses one of my fingertips, I want him to kiss all of them. And since he likes to tease me, he’ll leave out my thumb or double up on only some of them, knowing it’ll drive me crazy.

Yeah…leave it to the one you love to throw you all out of whack.
Leave it to the one you love to know that you need it.

I thought I could keep a stiff upper lip, but the Senate is now controlled by the Dems.  I’m on my laptop, clapping in an empty room, and crying with relief.  Not that the Dems haven’t let us down before, but damn, I’m hopeful.

I cried during the 2004 elections. After working with MoveOn canvassing and volunteering to keep watch at my local polling station, I lost it as the Colorado Democrats gathered at a downtown hotel to watch the election results come in. (Remember that amazing, however futile, moment when Ohio went back up for grabs? I thought I was going to piss myself.) The night wore on, and it became clear that we had another unbearably long four years ahead of us.

I called in sick to work the next day. What else could I do when I knew all I could say to my students was “Look kids, we’re all fucked. It’s no use. Go home.” Yeah, I could have been mature about it and used the defeat as a “teachable moment” about our so-called democracy. Instead, I stayed home, yelled at a door-to-door church guy when he continued to press me after I pointed to the Kerry sign in our window and warned him that it wasn’t a good time to bother me. He then had the gall to tell me that if I believed in God, it wouldn’t matter who was in charge. Wrong move, buddy, wrong move. Anyway, I went to visit our friends whose son was unlucky enough to enter the world on the day Bush “won” another presidential term. Holding a brand spanking new life in my arms and smelling the top of his little head was just what I needed to put things back into perspective. However, going to his 2^nd birthday party last weekend just reminded me that, damn, we still have another two years to go.

But this election year, I didn’t call in sick and I didn’t cry (although Colorado conservativism retained its “hate state” reputation by passing homophobic legislation). Rummy is gone, Pelosi is head girl, and the Senate is turning blue.

Things are looking up.